A letter never sent..............

Dear.................., 

I don't want to love you anymore…I have been hurt a lot, too much quite frankly. 

Your silence has broken my heart beyond repair…So much, to the point where I feel like ending it all, with a swallow or a cut or a fall.

It is as mended now as it will ever be again yet there is a small hole that refuses to heal.. You see when you ripped your entwined heart out of mine a small part of my heart clung to your heart.. Now my heart is missing a piece, but it is my gift to you…I still love you. .

 I wish I could erase the lines of my hurt, and make something new out of it. Something bold and beautiful; which I don’t think myself of anymore. But, if I erased the lines the hurt, would I understand the complexity of all that has happened between us? Never, have I felt, all the dust rise off my body and unveil something so spectacular it was scary. Something so real, it seemed unreal. If I could stomp out the flames of my hurt, would I have felt the burn of happiness? A happiness that was so good, it felt bad.

I felt, like I could leave it all, and run away with you. Like, I could smile without covering my mouth. Like, I was invincible because you were by my side. Like, I could breathe in the air and have it feel sweet to exhale. Not an exasperated sigh, but one filled with such emotion .I couldn’t contain and it spilt out of me, filling the room with all the love I felt inside.

I tried to move on and I tried to hate you….I wanted to hate you because I couldn't bare loving you and losing you…I lived for every message and email you sent…I only felt like I could breathe when you wrote..I thought you felt the same, but if you had there would have been no way you could have stopped talking to me months ago..

You will never know how much you meant to me,nor do you probably care.. Every time I think I am over you here comes your damn memory.. I am tired of crying…I am tired of missing you.. I am tired of hating myself because I miss you..

So I am just going to be honest…You were a bigger part of my life than I realized…

 I will still  remember you…I will feel you sometimes and I will always love you.. You were the best part of my life for years....

Yes, it was love for me. It was a love so unlike one I’d ever felt that I questioned it every step of the way. In the end I have been hurt, but to have felt that minute of love, I would let all the hurt envelope me in all its pain. If only we could love, one more time, just for a second, I’d do it all again.

Yeh Sala Paisa :( :(

Ever heard  the song, I will be your  honey till the time u have money.............well its a pretty old song, where the girl in a sweet voice tells her Man.....she will be with him through his trying times.....till the time he has the big M - MONEY!!!!!

Money no doubt is very important to us......but in  todays world, we give it so much importance that it surpasses the importance of our family and friends......Brothers kill brothers for money, they kidnap each others children, Parents are thrown out of their own houses and god knows what all people do for just these printed papers,Our lives revolve around these printed papers. Funnily man created Money, and now Money creates a Man's character........Its shocking but true.....

 In todays cut throat competition and amazing incentives, no more family time..........as one does not know when will one be back. Weekend is apparently "FAMILY TIME", when people are still working from home via their BlackBerrys and Tablets........I know a family, where 3 people live, but they communicate only on weekends, their conversation goes like " How are You??? How was your week, and how is everything going on.???",

 Is it really worth to earn this way if you dont even get time to breathe, One does not even realise and time passes by and before they know they have really no one left for company........One day i asked my friend, "Its nice to see you earn  quite well off for a person for your age, but 17 hours in office, do you even get time to enjoy the fruit of your hard work???", She just shrugged and replied, I love my job and the money is just  fabulous, plus the incentives and perks theres is nothing i could ask for, and the day i think its enough, ill stop working.", "STOP WORKING!!!!", my mind thought, are we human ever happy with what we have???? do we ever have enough.... i dont think so...... i sincerely  hope some day she finds something that she loves more than her work and the money, and she cuts down on her work hours....else her whole life will just pass from front of her eyes....and she will not notice until too late.........

Another  instance is a friend of mine and her boyfriend  they apparently broke up....just because that day in her purse she didn't have enough money to recharge her guys phone, I thought she was kidding, so when i asked the guy, he said it was true...if she couldn't even fulfill one small need of his, what will she do if someday he needed a big help from her (monetary wise).............Thats the  ugliness of money.....or should I say the boy's mentality.....I am not sure......

Money is amazing, necessary and one of the most important driving force for us to perform better in life, I do agree end of the day what matters...is not job , but how much are we earning, but I  don't think its worth our health and mental state of mind.....we work, work and work some more, we work all our life so that we have a great  life when we grow old, and when we grow old, we would be too tired to even enjoy ourselves...Was all this sacrifice of family and friends at all worth it......not that we can take all the money we earned with ourselves to the graves and enjoy there.

When I grow old I would love to have some great memories, with my family and friends, and all the great time we had together. Maybe i wont be having millions and billions of money kept in my locker, but my heart will be filled with millions and billions of happy memories and moments of my life.....I would be at least happy not being a part of the forever on going rat race......When others are rushing I would love to stop, Breathe and enjoy life as it comes, as its one Life to Love.........want to live it to the fullest :)