Yet another tale from Sunetra’s own
life where she almost married a Non Reliable Indian!
Those were the days in 2012 when I
was in my early 20’s. Armed with a
Masters in Statistics and a job in...... MNC, I use to think it can’t get
better than this! it didn’t! My boyfriend ran away with his cousin (that’s
another story I will write), I was heartbroken because I could not digest the
fact my boyfriend of 5 years was into incest! I was not in any mood to have a
friend with benefits. So I decided to be a “good Indian girl” and get married
to someone of my parent’s choice.
My parents were elated that finally
my ex was out of my life and they were sure to find me my prince charming! My
profile got created in many matrimonial websites and after going through good,
bad, worse, worst and not so bad profiles and then came in the good Bengali guy
from Germany named Shiva Chatterjee. Shiva Chatterjee was everything a Bengali
parent would hope for! (at least that’s what was portrayed!), Well educated
(PhD), cultured, artistic, polite. Great! Right? Even we thought so and
accepted his proposal.
His family was based in Kolkata and us
in Mumbai, so the parents thought it was very “liberal” of them to let us talk
first and then if we have decided, they can meet and proceed with the
formalities. At first I was not that enthusiastic, but then the boy really
seemed sweet and nice and we had a lot to talk, so we kept talking, I was still
not sure if I wanted to proceed with this proposal ahead, but there was a lot
of pressure from mine and his family to give an answer, as on the second day of
talking to me he had informed his family, that I was the “One” for him. If
pressure from my family was not hard enough, every day morning I would wake up
by a phone call from his family, asking me about my decision, I said yes! It
was relieving as now I could have my sleep!
If you are wondering why I haven’t
written how I had met him, the fact is we did not! It was all only via skype
and phone. His whole family added me on social media and I got tagged in all
their photographs, I felt maybe this is what true family is, as my family was
dysfunctional in the truest sense. 3 months into talking to each other I
started liking him and was not averse to the idea to get married. We would talk
on phone and skype for hours and it was an amazing time. He was suppose to come
down in the 4th month of knowing each other, and we had decided to
have a court marriage, post which I would fly off to Germany with him. It would
be an intimate affair. Spouse visa forms were filled, appointment from the
court , I was happy but yet not sure if I was
doing the right thing! I brushed it aside thinking they were pre-wedding
jitters.
12 days before the wedding, he
suddenly became very cold citing work pressure was too much and one day stopped
taking my calls or calling me, I was worried about him and his safety, we tried to contact his family too, but they too did not respond to our calls. 3 days passed
when there was no response, it then hit me I was cheated, I had left my job, as
I was suppose to fly off with him, did tons of shopping and not to mention I
had to call and inform everyone that there was no wedding. The boy had ghosted
me. It took me exactly 1 month to get over him, when I saw a photo of his on my
timeline happily married to some other girl in Germany.
As other suggested I did not confront
him, or send our messages to his wife, I did not see any point in doing so, I
just picked up myself and moved on with my life. I just hope he does not have a
wife in every country!
